Confidence Matters

Do you have a strong sense of self belief, feel comfortable and in control in your social and professional life?

Do you live your life as a confident person?

As a self confident person you will have a positive but realistic view of yourself and situations. You trust your own ability to deal with most things in your life, and generally feel in control. You will also have a strong sense of self belief, self reliance and within reason expect to achieve your life goals.

You accept yourself and don't feel the need to conform to meet the approval of others. Confident people are often less judgmental than those who are not confident. Its easier to judge others and take the focus away from yourself.

No one is born confident. Confidence is a learned behaviour that is developed from birth. You may be confident in some areas of your life, but lack confidence in others. This stems from your life experiences and how you have responded to these.

How might you think and behave if your confidence is low?

• Generally speaking, if you are not self confident you will depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about yourself

• You may avoid taking risks because you fear failure. So, if you don't fail, then others can't disapprove of you

• You will also be someone who generally does not expect to achieve your goals and be successful. 

• You will often put yourself down and won't acknowledge compliments paid to you, you think others are being nice, but they don't really mean it 

• You don't allow yourself to fully recognise your achievements in life 

• You are indecisive, seeking others opinions before making a decision often changing your mind as you are influenced by what others think 

• You may be holding onto a lot of internal anger and disappointment 

• You may appear to be outwardly confident, even extrovert, but are good at faking self confidence 

• You may be over critical and judgmental of others

These are some examples of behaviours and thought processes that signify your inner confidence is not as strong as it could be

How is self confidence developed?

There are many factors that affect the development of your self confidence. In early development, your parent's or mentors attitudes played a crucial part on how you feel about yourself. If your parent's encouraged self reliance and accepted you and loved you even when you made mistakes, then you would have a solid foundation to build your self confidence on.

If however, one or both parents were excessively critical or demanding, or if they were overprotective and discouraged you from being independent, then you may have come to believe that you are incapable of making your own decisions and have feelings of inadequacy or inferiority in certain areas of your life.

The rest of your self confidence development depended on how you learnt to deal with day to day situations and your emotional responses to those.

If you relate to any of the above and you want to increase your self confidence please contact me either by phone on: 07968 183145 or email: